Welcome back everyone. I am Becky Williams and today I'm continuing the conversation about the Enneagram. Now, if you remember back in video from week 2, I had said that humans are inherently social creatures, right? Our lives are intertwined deeply with those that are around us and we do have established relationships in our families, our communities, and our workplaces And although a lot of stuff is turning virtual relationships are still very important parts of our lives and they do come, of course, with their own sets of rewards and challenges. It is so important to understand that although people do have characteristics of all the 9 types that I'm going to be talking about today, one of the types is going to be your main type that you operate in most of the time.
Okay, so the Enneagram is actually going to be similar to a friend who doesn't judge you, but names and addresses core dynamics of their heart. All right, think about a friend who will tell you that you have broccoli in your teeth at dinner. It's someone who cares about you enough that they are going to be truthful and honest with you. That's the kind of friend that I want, right? So that's how I look at the Enneagram as well.
Now, every single type is going to have a core motivation and the core motivation here is just kind of used as an umbrella term, because it's just the pushing force that goes behind our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. There's actually four parts so I'm going to cover two of them today, two of them next week. The ones that I'm going to cover today are the core fears and the core desires. Next week, I'll cover the core weakness and the core longing.
According to the website your Enneagram coach, they say that people will use the nine personality strategies to protect themselves from their core fear and core weaknesses, and to get their core desires and core longings met. Alright, so let's talk about the different 9 types here.
So the Type 1, the perfectionist, they're going to use perfectionism to try and make their world better, so they're going to use this to protect themselves from their core fear and their core weakness and then get them towards their core longing and their core desire.
The helper is going to use helping. The achiever, achieving. Do you see a pattern here? The Type 4 , the romantic individualist, is going to use creating. Type 5, the thinker, will use thinking. Type 6, the loyal guardian, will use preparing to get themselves out of fear and end to their desires.
The Type 7, the entertaining optimist, they're going to use planning. Type 8, the challenger, they're going to use protecting. And Type 9, the peaceful mediator, is going to use withdrawing.
So at this point in understanding with the Enneagram, if you do understand the core longings, it's going to help you to do some of the inner work and decide exactly how healthy are you on a mental and emotional or relational level. Understanding, this is my opinion, but understanding what makes you tick will allow you to grow in ways that maybe were confusing to you in the past. Using the Enneagram in this way also allows you to understand those that are around you, which of course will lead to more fulfilling relationships.
Everyone desires to be heard and understood. If that felt impossible before grasping these core longings of each type, the fears, the desires, the weaknesses, this is what's going to unlock that information for you and make this seem a little bit easier. Which is the whole point of these bonus videos every week is to make your life easier. All right, so let's talk about the core fears of each type, I'm going to go through them here.
So the Type 1, their biggest fear is being wrong, being inappropriate or being corruptible. These are people who live by a set of moral code and it is that is who they are, okay. Breaking the rules is just not what they do.
For the Type 2, it's being rejected, unwanted, or dispensable. So if you think about the person, there's a commercial here in the US and I'm not sure if it plays in other areas, but it's an insurance commercial and basically this guy comes on and he says that he's helping all the different people to not turn in their parents because they bought this insurance policy. Well in two separate places on there, I always have to laugh because in one place the guy standing in the tool section helping out, this complete stranger on picking a tool and then at the end he is helping this van to back up and he doesn't even know the people. Okay, that would be an example of a Type 2. All right, a very unhealthy Type 2, but still their biggest fear is that they're rejected. They're unwanted or dispensable so they want to be used and they want to help you whether you want the help or not.
At Type 3, being exposed, seen incompetent, or worthless. At Type 4, these are gonna be your Musicians, I'll say it right. Musicians, these are gonna be your artists. These are gonna be people who bring light and love to the world. So for them to be plain or ordinary that is gonna be their biggest fear.
Type 5 is having obligations placed on them that's gonna drain their energy. So for a type 5, if they are married to an extroverted spouse, they may worry about having to go to a bunch of social events to where they'll be drained. Because they do have limited energy.
And a Type 6, they're worried about being without security, a supporter, without guidance, especially with decision-making. They want to know that they have some options that they can look and understand and think about what could happen and think about all the different outcomes.
For Type 7, they're really worried about missing out about being trapped in emotional pain. Type 7s don't want to deal with the messy and stressful and painful emotions. They want to just have fun and keep everything light and fun and it's that emotional pain is something that they fear.
For a Type 8, they don't want to be without options. Okay, so they don't want to be vulnerable, controlled or powerless. These are the types of people that don't want to be told what to do. They want to be able to be in charge because it feels more secure that way.
For a Type 9, they don't want to be overlooked. They don't want to be stuck in conflict or losing relationships. A lot of times, a Type 9 will close off who they are in order to preserve a relationship because it means that much to them.
All right, so the second part of this is I want to talk about the Core Desire. So the core desire is a person is always working towards this and hoping it will happen. Now, I know that somewhere deep down, we understand that this won't make us happy. But for the most part we've convinced ourselves 100% that whatever this core desire is, if we have this will be everything will be fixed. Everything will be better and our lives will just be perfect. Okay, like on some level, we understand that this is not true, but we just can't help it. We just feel like if we had this, whatever it is based on your Enneagram number, then we would be good to go.
Let's talk about what those are. All right for a Type 1, having integrity, being right and virtuous. That is what would make everything just be perfect and their life to be aligned. For a Type 2, it's to be appreciated and loved and wanted. Everybody will want their help. Everybody will make sure that they feel needed. For a Type 3, held and high esteem valued and admired. So they get that promotion at work. They get the recognition for the hard work that they've done.That is what's going to be most important to them.
All right for a Type 4, they're unique and special and authentic and everybody knows it, that is their core desire. For a Type 5, it's being a capable person who's competent in all areas. They are good at what they do. They know how to do it. It's efficient. That is what their desire is.
For a Type 6, that's having security and guidance and support and everything especially in making decisions. They feel like everything is working together and feel very safe and having those options and having security and having guidance on what they're trying to decide on.
All right, and here is the last slide for today, for a Type 7, feeling contentment, satisfaction and happiness. So being able to have the light fuzzy unicorn pie in the sky that feeling, being able to have that about all areas of their life is what feels good to a Type 7 and what they're always working towards. For a Type 8, it's being completely protected on the inside and the outside. A Type 8 is always going to go to bat for the underdog so for a type 8 to feel like they're protected and the people who would not normally be able to protect themselves are safe. That is the Enneagram Type 8 desire is to be in this place of complete control, that'd be a better way to say it.
For a Type 9 is complete peace in all areas of life and inner stability. So they feel peaceful on the inside and they feel peaceful on the outside with their relationships, their work, their home, what have you. So all of these things are important. All of these things work together. I hope that you were able to see yourself in one or more of these numbers. Remember, you're gonna have one main type, but you will see yourself a little bit in all of them.
So if you enjoyed this and one of these numbers resonated with you, I would love to continue the conversation through email. Shoot me a quick email. Let me know which number that you think you are and what you learned about today's lesson.
I'm gonna see you again next week for a part two of this Enneagram series. I hope that you're enjoying it. Have a great week. Talk to you soon.