The 5 Steps To LASTING Change

Posted by Mike Miryala on



Welcome back everybody. It is Becky William. I'm super excited about this week's video because it's going to talk about something I'm very very passionate about and that is Habit Change


How many times have you ever wanted to change something maybe in your routine or just in general habit and really had trouble sticking to it? If you're like me, you did really good for the first 3 days and then something came in, threw your routine off, threw you for a loop, whatever. Yeah I get it. I've done the same thing. You know I'll say “oh I'm gonna give up coffee and by the third day I'm like get me a coffee.” So I totally get it.

The truth is new habits, they do take a little while to stick and even if you're gonna do something let's say for the span of 40 days to where your habit is gonna change, it may not actually change completely unless you were doing it the right way. And so today that's really what I want to talk to you about. I want to reveal the secrets. These are from my life coaching practice. This is how to make changes permanent and not just temporary. It's actually a 5-step process. It's called the 5-Step Transformational Process. 

So the first step is to Step Back. This is very important because to create space in your programming, you have to be able to separate yourself from your thinking right now to the thinking that you want to be. But the only way to move forward is actually just step back. So we're all living on our own programming. You're not going to be able to see it because it's just how you are. So we have something what's called the map. And the map is basically going to be something that was developed from early childhood. It's how we see the world. It's how we see events and how they happen to us. How we correspond with that. How we react to the things around us. So everybody has their own map. 

This is why whenever my husband and I are talking and he's saying something about a situation, I'm saying something about a situation. We're talking about the same thing. But we are like not on the same page at all. It's because I have my own map and my own programming. He has his own map and his own programming. And so in life and in relationships, you have to be on the same map. You have to be able to get on somebody else's map to understand this is where they're coming from. This is how they feel. 

So for you, thankfully this is just an internal process. You don't need any outside forces to help you do this. But this is just going to be about getting on your own map and understanding that the way that you see the world, the way that you see yourself is often going to be bundled up with emotions. And that's why change is so hard. Because we get attached to the things in our life. We get attached to the things that are important to us, the things that have always been. And so it's very difficult to make that change because it is so emotionally charged.

Okay so the step number 2 is going to be to Let Go. Now this step is about releasing the old habits, your hang-ups, your hurts, the things that have kept you in the cycle of whatever habit you're trying to break. It could be something really big such as an addiction. Or it could be something really small such as you want to get up 30 minutes before your kids, like I did this morning, to be able to get a little bit of work in. To be able to maybe have some prayers, some meditation, maybe to read a book, whatever it is. Okay so this works for the little tiny things. This works for the really big things. Also understand too, this is something that I didn't realize, but letting go of these habits and these hang-ups and all of this stuff is not like a you know a letting go day. There's just one specific day where you're like, I let everything go. I'm good. There may be like a big jump in that to where you do let things go a lot at a time. 


But just know that every single day you're gonna be changing. You're gonna be moving. You're gonna be letting go and evolving each day, willing to question the old ways of thinking that are not serving you anymore. So you keep in mind, okay I've stepped back. I've realized these are the things that I'm doing that are not serving me. I'm willing to let those things go and question the old way of thinking and see if the new goals will help to serve you. 

For example, I'm not good with drinking water. I've talked about this before. So when my timer for my phone, when my app goes off and says it's time to drink water, I have a choice. I can just snooze and say, who cares, whatever. I'm not gonna do it. And I'll be honest, sometimes I do that because either the baby's sleeping on me or I just got up and I'm just now sitting down to work again and I just don't feel like getting up again to get my water or whatever. I have a choice and so the thing that I can think when that timer goes off is, okay so I have a choice. One, I can drink the water or two, I can just be stuck in this old habit of not drinking water. How has that served me? Well, it's not serving me well because I'm dehydrated. It's not serving me well because I feel it in my body that I'm not hydrated. It's not serving me well because I'm still nursing my daughter and so I'm not going to be able to give her the nourishment that she needs. So you see how it works? You acknowledge it, you step back from it, you decide to let go of the old programming of it's too hard, I don't feel like getting up, I don't feel like having to go to the bathroom all the time, so I don't feel like drinking the water. Okay, is it serving me? Yes or no? Alright, I hope that makes sense. 

Step number 3 is to Say Yes. This is about believing that your new way of thinking will work. So going back to the same example, my timer goes off on my phone, says it's time to drink water. I've already emotionally stepped away from it. I've decided to let go of my old way of thinking, right? And then I'm gonna say yes. So instead of saying, you know what, it really doesn't matter if I'm gonna drink any more water. I'm not gonna be hydrated anyway. So I've got this pattern and thought in my mind of, you know what, it doesn't matter if I'm gonna drink more water anyway. It's not gonna make any difference. Okay, that is not going to serve you. So the idea is to say yes and think and believe that your new way of thinking is gonna work. This is about giving yourself permission to change and be okay with the new you, with this new way of thinking. This step is really beautiful because you get to decide what you believe is true about yourself, what's true about your life, what's true about the world around you. 

So a friend of mine, I spoke with her, I think it was 3 or 4 days ago, and she had me do some transformational coaching. Her and I just real quick, we're actually on the phone just talking as friends and she heard the way that I was talking about a situation and she was kind of walking through these steps with me. And she said, say this sentence, how can I change this? And that's how I felt. It was a situation I felt hopeless. It was a situation I felt like I didn't have control to make any changes. And so I said, how can I help this? How can I change this? And it felt hopeless. And then she had me really focus on the word CAN. And I said, how can I help this? How can I change this? And a whole new thinking of this deep and dark and heaviness of how could I possibly make any changes versus how can I make changes? And it just the energy of that just feels so different. So this step is about, step 3 is about saying yes and believing, you know what? There is something I can do about this. There is hope. There is a way. 

All right, step number 4 is about Taking The Empowered Action. A lot of times we get to step 3 and we don't go to step 4 because step 4 is about who you're being when you take the action. What has to be true about you to make the next step? Many of us don't go after what we want because we're scared, but the beautiful thing about fear is that it's actually faith on hold. By taking the first 3 steps, you're able to release your old beliefs that you've told about yourself or that's been told to you. Let's just be honest, okay? Other people in your ear, you're not good enough. You didn't go to college. You didn't do this. You're not a good mom. You're not a good dad. Whatever. Blah blah blah. Okay? Old beliefs that have been told to you or you've just accepted, you have to say yes to the new belief. This step is going to get you to be the first movement in your mindset upgrade. This is what this is. This is about upgrading your mind, right? We take actions all the time, but who are we choosing to be when we do that? Are we coming from a place of fear? Are we coming from a place of victimhood? Coming from a place that was programmed from our parents or our society? Or is this truly how we feel in our gut? 

The step is about standing on your own ground and making the step. Taking empowered action. For example, phone goes off. Okay? I've stepped back. I've said yes, right? I've decided to let go of my old beliefs. I'm gonna take empowered action. When my app goes off, I'm gonna say yes. I'm gonna drink water. I'm gonna grab my water and drink it. Okay? Because I've changed this new belief and you know what? I deserve to be nourished. I deserve to feel refreshed and rejuvenated. My daughter deserves to have nourishing foods for her body to grow. Right? Okay? So this mindset. Got to change. Take the empowered action. 

Step number 5. The last step. This is Accountability. Set accountability for yourself. This is exactly why we have our Facebook group. There are like a lot, a lot, a lot of people that are in Sprightly Soul. But only about this much of that group. I spoke with somebody yesterday just to kind of check on our numbers and see where we are. And so many of you are not in the Facebook group. Why? Come in the Facebook group. Make a Facebook page. Make a Facebook profile just for the Sprightly Soul Facebook group. Okay? Come on over in there. It's about setting accountability. 

To make change last is really, really is important to have a support system. And that support system helps you to feel calm. It helps you to feel held. It helps you to feel secure. And in that, you can allow yourself to stretch. Okay? You're not going to change if you don't stretch. Nothing changes without making it, taking on a different form. So water, if it's going to become ice, it's going to have to change its state. To become water, to become steam, it's going to have to take the heat. And it's going to have to change. 

Think about a teabag. It's in water. You can put a teabag in water. Sure. It may do a little bit of stuff. But if you make that water hot and you put that teabag in there, then that's whenever you see what's in that bag. That's when you see what it's made of. And that is how this process is. You take these five steps. You have the accountability in our Facebook group, and we're able to support you and say, you know what, you're doing a great job. I know that this may be difficult, or this may be hard, or it may be something that you've been trying to work on for a long time and you're feeling discouraged. We're there to help you. Okay? 

If you're still not convinced to come to our Facebook group, I understand some people are completely against Facebook. I would love to continue this conversation and be your accountability partner. You can email me directly. I would love to be your accountability partner. I want to help to see you make steps and changes in your life so that you can really enjoy this one life that you've been given here on earth. Okay? I will see you again next week. I hope this has encouraged you in some kind of way. Have a great week. Bye-bye.